Taking It Back from May 2013
Well, this is my 5th "assignment blog" and I have to admit that I am super behind this week.... but I'm not stressing over it! First thing Monday morning, I put in a very simple prayer request on the OBS daily post just asking for prayers for me to keep everything together this week with all the extra stuff I have going on. I had peace that I was simply not going to be able to participate in OBS as much this week as in previous weeks and that it is okay! I have just been reading a little of chapter five each day and "sitting back" (in my spirit) to see what God wants to do.
Man, have I been blessed! I think it was Tuesday that our OBS leader suggested that she really wanted us to get serious like Hannah, every day this week. Meaning, that she really wanted us to take the time to pour out our hearts to God...just raw honesty. I remember thinking, "....That would be nice. When will I have a chance to allow myself to become a complete basket case before God.....privately???" I say it sort of sarcastically but to be honest (no pun intended) I would love a chance to pour my heart out. So, that's exactly what I said to God. Well, he has just seen to it that I have been given everything I am in need of this week without me even having a chance to spill my guts or my tears. He is building me up so much and I am so, so thankful.
The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14
I spent Sunday at Goshen New Life Church in Faison and fought happy tears all day. I brought my daughter with me and as we parked the car, I began to explain to her what was special about the day. "Just a couple of years ago, there were only 8 or 10 people left at this church and they thought they were going to have to close the doors and just give up." I said. "But, they decided to give it one more try and they found out that there were really a whole lot of families right around this church and so they decided that they would become the best community church they could be and they started by focussing on children and teenagers. So now they have a good group of children and teenagers coming to their church and their parents and grandparents and they love their kids. So, you may see a lot of kids here today and that's why." Before I even got to the door a young boy about 10 years old walked up to welcome us to his church with a firm handshake and a huge smile. A little girl was right beside him eager to give us a bulletin. That's when the lump hit my throat. It didn't leave for a few hours. They had prayed for 150 people that morning for the rededication of their building. I made 151!
On Monday, I received a very special gift that I will keep private but suffice it to say that it was extremely encouraging and affirming for me.
When Tuesday rolled around I was to attend part of a Retired Ministers Retreat for work so I could do a little PR for my department. But, after I gave my "speechette" and started to head back over to the office, the featured speaker (another retired minister) started his sermon. I stood out in the hallway to hear a little and I was drawn back in. He was speaking on faith. (I think that's my theme this week.) After getting a few good nuggets, I ducked back out again but then he said something else and so I stuck my head in to hear him finish his point. This continued for about 15 minutes and finally I just gave up and decided that what this man had to say was worth more than the money I could earn for working that hour. So, I stayed for the rest of his sermon and I'm so glad I did. I'd tell you all about that but it would take another blog & I'm still chewing on it anyway.
I decided to come back later that evening and also the next morning to hear as much more of him as I could. (This is Jimmy Forehand, by the way, for anyone who may be reading who would know). Within a few hours this week, that man strengthened my faith tremendously. It had been probably close to 15 years since I had heard him preach and listening to him again helped me realize that some of that early zeal, conviction and confidence I had in my faith originated from hearing him speak before. He has a way of saying things... explaining things that... I don't know.... It just makes sense. He's clearly one of the smartest preachers out there. He's honest, fearless, passionate for God (even still at 79) and extremely well read. He is a true scholar but he can always make his points in such a way as to be sure they are applied not just to your mind but also your heart.
After service on Tuesday, I stayed for lunch and sat down with several of the older ladies. I listened to them talk about how God was meeting their needs. They were making the point that as ministers, they had never had much opportunity to save or plan for retirement. One lady whose husband died just a few months ago, made the comment that as they were transitioning into retirement years, she had anxiety over finances and began to ask the Lord to prove to her that he would take care of them as they were aging. She said that when she went out to the mailbox there was a dollar bill laying on the ground by the ditch and when she opened the mailbox there was a 5 dollar bill on the bottom of the box. So, she took that as her answer. She went in the house and framed those dollars and hasn't worried anymore since then. She says God showed her that he can take care of them. "He'll throw money on the ditch if he has to but I know he'll take care of me." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. It made me think of my story from last week's blog but I knew I needed to go back to work. One of the other ladies insisted that I stay and tell my story, though. So, I did.
Afterwards, the ditch dollar lady (Janice Crawford) looked across the table to me and said that hearing my story had been so encouraging to her that she promised right then and there to pray for me every day. As soon as she said that, my heart did a little summersault and I knew that her prayers are going to be a huge blessing for me. I'm so glad I stayed and overcame my tendency to go into wallflower mode.
This week, I've been poured into so much, I haven't had a chance to be stressed out.
Here's the thing, I feel like I am taking back my faith in a greater measure than I am comfortable describing and it is happening right now and it is happening fast and all I am really doing is "learning to lean, learning to lean, I'm learning to lean on Jesus..." But, the weird thing is that through the process of this OBS, I am realizing that when I have been the most willing to admit my neediness before God, that's when He has always been at work the most in my heart and in my life.
'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the LORD of hosts. - Zechariah 4:6
Here's my take-away quote from this week's chapter... the thing that is sticking with me most:
It was a Beth Moore quote:
"We can underline our bibles till our pens run dry without a drop of ink splattering our lives. The self-deception slithers in when we mistake appreciation for application or being touched with being changed. The word of God is meant to do more than penetrate. It's meant to activate. It can bore holes through obstacles. It can tumble defenses. It can plant wandering feet of clay in places of divine purpose. It can sanctify the sin sick and steady the aimless and confused. It can light a blazing torch in a black hole. Simply put, the Word was meant to work."
I feel such conviction rising back up in me and I am so thankful for it.
I got into a little cyber debate with a lady this week over a social issue because I was quoting scripture as a way to reference or attempt to explain a decision some christians had made. She really questioned my audacity to attempt to interpret scripture or know the mind of God. I told her I didn't pretend to know the mind of God but that I did know some things that had already been written about the mind of God. Eventually, she admitted to me that she did not even believe that the bible was true. She said reason had won out over faith for her. That made me sad because reason has very little to do with faith. Faith has a great deal to do with trusting in love; God's love and love like His really doesn't make any sense at all.
I am realizing that we are in a culture war. The world wants to redesign christianity. That's crazy. To be a christian is to be a follower of Christ, not a redefiner of Christ. We don't change God. God changes us!. We learn that our ways are not His ways. God shapes us. He transforms us into His likeness. Sometimes it takes a lifetime but... he does it.
I have actually had people to feel sorry for me for believing anything about the way I was living my life was wrong prior to me giving it completely over to God. They think I am in a religious culture that causes me to suppress my true self or something. I had one "friend" who literally waited five years to call me to prove her point. She was sadly mistaken to hear about how life was going for me... She has never called back again and it's been another ten years since then.
That line of thinking is just plain crazy. God made me. He knows what the best version of me will look like.
I remember the moment I came alive and it wasn't when I was doing everything I wanted to do. It was when I admitted that I had no idea how to successfully do what I believe God wanted me to do. I literally told him that if he wanted me that he could have me but that he would need to come and get me because I had no idea how to get it right. I had tried and tried and screwed up every time. So, he did! He just plain came and got me and I like it that way. I like it so much that I want everyone else to have it that way too.... because it's awesome.
I gotta stop. This is getting way too long to be a blog.
God bless anyone who reads this. Keep the faith and if you haven't taken a moment to consider asking Jesus into your own life, there's no better time than the present.
The word repent means to turn around or change your way of thinking.
As a friend once told me, "People turn around every day."
If you will listen to the tug of your heart and let your mind turn around and consider that there is a God, confess your sins to Him and commit to follow Him from here on out, He'll take it from there.
Man, have I been blessed! I think it was Tuesday that our OBS leader suggested that she really wanted us to get serious like Hannah, every day this week. Meaning, that she really wanted us to take the time to pour out our hearts to God...just raw honesty. I remember thinking, "....That would be nice. When will I have a chance to allow myself to become a complete basket case before God.....privately???" I say it sort of sarcastically but to be honest (no pun intended) I would love a chance to pour my heart out. So, that's exactly what I said to God. Well, he has just seen to it that I have been given everything I am in need of this week without me even having a chance to spill my guts or my tears. He is building me up so much and I am so, so thankful.
The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14
I have been given not only rest but restoration!
On Monday, I received a very special gift that I will keep private but suffice it to say that it was extremely encouraging and affirming for me.
When Tuesday rolled around I was to attend part of a Retired Ministers Retreat for work so I could do a little PR for my department. But, after I gave my "speechette" and started to head back over to the office, the featured speaker (another retired minister) started his sermon. I stood out in the hallway to hear a little and I was drawn back in. He was speaking on faith. (I think that's my theme this week.) After getting a few good nuggets, I ducked back out again but then he said something else and so I stuck my head in to hear him finish his point. This continued for about 15 minutes and finally I just gave up and decided that what this man had to say was worth more than the money I could earn for working that hour. So, I stayed for the rest of his sermon and I'm so glad I did. I'd tell you all about that but it would take another blog & I'm still chewing on it anyway.
I decided to come back later that evening and also the next morning to hear as much more of him as I could. (This is Jimmy Forehand, by the way, for anyone who may be reading who would know). Within a few hours this week, that man strengthened my faith tremendously. It had been probably close to 15 years since I had heard him preach and listening to him again helped me realize that some of that early zeal, conviction and confidence I had in my faith originated from hearing him speak before. He has a way of saying things... explaining things that... I don't know.... It just makes sense. He's clearly one of the smartest preachers out there. He's honest, fearless, passionate for God (even still at 79) and extremely well read. He is a true scholar but he can always make his points in such a way as to be sure they are applied not just to your mind but also your heart.
After service on Tuesday, I stayed for lunch and sat down with several of the older ladies. I listened to them talk about how God was meeting their needs. They were making the point that as ministers, they had never had much opportunity to save or plan for retirement. One lady whose husband died just a few months ago, made the comment that as they were transitioning into retirement years, she had anxiety over finances and began to ask the Lord to prove to her that he would take care of them as they were aging. She said that when she went out to the mailbox there was a dollar bill laying on the ground by the ditch and when she opened the mailbox there was a 5 dollar bill on the bottom of the box. So, she took that as her answer. She went in the house and framed those dollars and hasn't worried anymore since then. She says God showed her that he can take care of them. "He'll throw money on the ditch if he has to but I know he'll take care of me." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. It made me think of my story from last week's blog but I knew I needed to go back to work. One of the other ladies insisted that I stay and tell my story, though. So, I did.
Afterwards, the ditch dollar lady (Janice Crawford) looked across the table to me and said that hearing my story had been so encouraging to her that she promised right then and there to pray for me every day. As soon as she said that, my heart did a little summersault and I knew that her prayers are going to be a huge blessing for me. I'm so glad I stayed and overcame my tendency to go into wallflower mode.
This week, I've been poured into so much, I haven't had a chance to be stressed out.
Lettin' My Little Light Shine!
Here's the thing, I feel like I am taking back my faith in a greater measure than I am comfortable describing and it is happening right now and it is happening fast and all I am really doing is "learning to lean, learning to lean, I'm learning to lean on Jesus..." But, the weird thing is that through the process of this OBS, I am realizing that when I have been the most willing to admit my neediness before God, that's when He has always been at work the most in my heart and in my life.
'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the LORD of hosts. - Zechariah 4:6
Here's my take-away quote from this week's chapter... the thing that is sticking with me most:
It was a Beth Moore quote:
"We can underline our bibles till our pens run dry without a drop of ink splattering our lives. The self-deception slithers in when we mistake appreciation for application or being touched with being changed. The word of God is meant to do more than penetrate. It's meant to activate. It can bore holes through obstacles. It can tumble defenses. It can plant wandering feet of clay in places of divine purpose. It can sanctify the sin sick and steady the aimless and confused. It can light a blazing torch in a black hole. Simply put, the Word was meant to work."
I feel such conviction rising back up in me and I am so thankful for it.
I got into a little cyber debate with a lady this week over a social issue because I was quoting scripture as a way to reference or attempt to explain a decision some christians had made. She really questioned my audacity to attempt to interpret scripture or know the mind of God. I told her I didn't pretend to know the mind of God but that I did know some things that had already been written about the mind of God. Eventually, she admitted to me that she did not even believe that the bible was true. She said reason had won out over faith for her. That made me sad because reason has very little to do with faith. Faith has a great deal to do with trusting in love; God's love and love like His really doesn't make any sense at all.
I am realizing that we are in a culture war. The world wants to redesign christianity. That's crazy. To be a christian is to be a follower of Christ, not a redefiner of Christ. We don't change God. God changes us!. We learn that our ways are not His ways. God shapes us. He transforms us into His likeness. Sometimes it takes a lifetime but... he does it.
I have actually had people to feel sorry for me for believing anything about the way I was living my life was wrong prior to me giving it completely over to God. They think I am in a religious culture that causes me to suppress my true self or something. I had one "friend" who literally waited five years to call me to prove her point. She was sadly mistaken to hear about how life was going for me... She has never called back again and it's been another ten years since then.
That line of thinking is just plain crazy. God made me. He knows what the best version of me will look like.
I remember the moment I came alive and it wasn't when I was doing everything I wanted to do. It was when I admitted that I had no idea how to successfully do what I believe God wanted me to do. I literally told him that if he wanted me that he could have me but that he would need to come and get me because I had no idea how to get it right. I had tried and tried and screwed up every time. So, he did! He just plain came and got me and I like it that way. I like it so much that I want everyone else to have it that way too.... because it's awesome.
I gotta stop. This is getting way too long to be a blog.
God bless anyone who reads this. Keep the faith and if you haven't taken a moment to consider asking Jesus into your own life, there's no better time than the present.
The word repent means to turn around or change your way of thinking.
As a friend once told me, "People turn around every day."
If you will listen to the tug of your heart and let your mind turn around and consider that there is a God, confess your sins to Him and commit to follow Him from here on out, He'll take it from there.
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